The Moment Your Life Crashes and Burns: On Divorce, Injury, and Questions Without Answers
It’s been more than four years since my husband announced he was in love with my friend and no longer wanted to be married to me.
My convalescence afforded me time to think. I found myself asking the kinds of questions that don’t have real answers, like “why me?” and “how did this happen?” and, most commonly, “what if?”
It has long been my instinct to seek alternatives, to wonder whether there were other paths I could have taken, decisions I could have made to avoid misfortune. My brain likes to imagine a scenario in which I have complete control, operating under the illusion that I have the power to affect my destiny rather than accepting the reality that sometimes bad things happen for no reason at all.
Lady BirdWonder Woman,
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I debated for a long time whether I would describe sex with Reese. I didn’t know if I could stand knowing that it might turn some readers on, that it could sustain their fantasies about underage girls. Some of you have come to this essay for the sex, whether you’d admit to it or not.