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Please Don’t Pray for Us—We’ll Have Children When We’re Ready!
People I hardly knew implied that without children, I was failing as a woman, a Muslim, and a human being.
This is Growing Faith, a column about parenting and faith coauthored by Saadia Faruqi and Shoshana Kordova.
“Are you practicing family planning? Those pills make it really hard to get pregnant even when you stop taking them.” “You should lose weight. It will be easier to get pregnant.” “You shouldn’t stress. Stress causes hormones that make it difficult to get pregnant.” “Have you ever tried herbal remedies? Homoeopathy? Acupuncture?” “We are praying for you, dear.” “I am so worried about you. I pray that Allah gives you lots of babies.” “What’s the matter with you? Did you try going to a doctor?”
Saadia Faruqi is a Pakistani American writer. She is the editor of Muslim literary journal Blue Minaret and author of the short story collection Brick Walls: Tales of Hope & Courage from Pakistan. She lives in Houston with her husband and children. @saadiafaruqi
Shoshana Kordova is an Orthodox Jewish writer and editor raised in NJ and living in Israel. She has written for Smithsonian, Prevention, Quartz, NYT's Motherlode, and The Daily Beast. She has four daughters. @shoshanakordova
Shoshana and Saadia are co-founders of Have Faith, Will Parent, a meeting place for parents of all religions.
More by this author
“God will not forgive until the person you have wronged forgives”: On Repentance, Faith, and Family Life
“God is sometimes easier to please than our fellow humans.”