With Time Their Wings Fade
Where skinny shoulder blades should have ended, they began, two shadows sprouting from the child’s back. Wings made of dust.
Uncanny
Shoulds
change.
In, in, in, In to sleep.
He’s so much older. You’ll spend half your life alone. What will you do when he’s falling apart and you’re still young?
What do you do, El?Tomorrow you get up. You make coffee. You make bacon. You tell his work that he is gone. You call town. You look for a job. You sell the house. You look in everyone’s eyes and see how they think you got what you asked for, so young, marrying so old. What did you think you’d get? His back, his face, all the Ellabelles and kindness. A hand on your stomach that didn’t mind the sadness. Someone who was afraid you were lonely, but understood when you said, “Not enough.”
I heard we should come here. That you could help.
I lost . . .
We want a child so badly.
Erika Swyler is the author of Light From Other Stars (Bloomsbury, May 2019) and The Book of Speculation . Her writing has appeared in Literary Hub, Catapult, VIDA Review, Monkey Bicycle, The New York Times, and elsewhere. She is on Twitter: @erikaswyler
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