With Time Their Wings Fade
Where skinny shoulder blades should have ended, they began, two shadows sprouting from the child’s back. Wings made of dust.
Uncanny
Shoulds
change.
In, in, in, In to sleep.
He’s so much older. You’ll spend half your life alone. What will you do when he’s falling apart and you’re still young?
What do you do, El?Tomorrow you get up. You make coffee. You make bacon. You tell his work that he is gone. You call town. You look for a job. You sell the house. You look in everyone’s eyes and see how they think you got what you asked for, so young, marrying so old. What did you think you’d get? His back, his face, all the Ellabelles and kindness. A hand on your stomach that didn’t mind the sadness. Someone who was afraid you were lonely, but understood when you said, “Not enough.”
I heard we should come here. That you could help.
I lost . . .
We want a child so badly.
Erika Swyler is the author of Light From Other Stars (Bloomsbury, May 2019) and The Book of Speculation . Her writing has appeared in Literary Hub, Catapult, VIDA Review, Monkey Bicycle, The New York Times, and elsewhere. She is on Twitter: @erikaswyler
Enter your email address to receive notifications for author Erika Swyler
Success!
You have been added to the notification list for author Erika Swyler
More by this author
The King of Florida and Other Roadside Attractions
Like much of Florida, it appears both ridiculous and dangerous and gambling is involved. I think. I still don’t understand it.
More in this series
Give Me Your Body
“We believe that to speak the name of a ghost is to invite it into your life.”
Necrophiliacs
We knew the things the Yale boys said about us, as if we were zombies. Still, we sold them our drugs.
Take Pills and Wait for Hips
Some people have thought during your transition that you’re a knockoff, an off-brand woman.