How Do We Overcome Trauma?
I categorized the sexual assault under things that were my fault. “It was not that bad,” I told myself. “Others have been through worse.”
Author of Tell Me Everything You Don't Remember (Ecco/Harper Collins). Her short fiction and essays have appeared in ZYZZYVA, Guernica, The Rumpus, The New York Times, and BuzzFeed, among other publications. Her novel is forthcoming from Ecco / Harper Collins. Beekeeper. She/her.
twitter: @xtinehlee
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More by this author
How to Be a Husband
I was husbanding—providing for my household by physically taking care of my land and livestock. And they were providing for me.
Unlearning What the Patriarchy Taught Me About the Pecking Order of Women
In my flocks, I’ve borne witness to what I fear.
Sheltering in Place in My Backyard Garden
This period of social isolation is, I’ve told my child, an act of love for others. We are, whether we want to admit it or not, part of a herd.
More in this series
Turning Our Garden’s Bounty Into Community
Nature is never obedient. It rallies forward. This is the reality on a farm: The bounty comes all at once.
Learning How to Be Gentle in the Face of Trauma—Others’ and My Own
Bees do not attack—just as trauma survivors do not attack, but rather defend. She will not sting you unless she believes the colony’s life depends on her defense. Because when she stings you, she dies.
When My Marriage Ended, I Learned to Relish the Space I Was Given
Being left behind is not a disadvantage. It is an opportunity to grow and an opportunity to live life on my own terms.