“What I know is this: Some part of me, however small, is already dead. I live around it.”
I have been afraid most days of my life, which is what anxiety is, and the months of this pregnancy have been the most anxious of my life.
I hope the voices of people who haven’t necessarily had the words when they needed them can also be heard.
On the day when two pink lines stared up at me, I wondered which set of events I had set in motion. A baby? Or not a baby?
My bad teeth are slowly shrinking my world. They are not of my body; they haunt my body.
Here is how the story of your new face begins.
On Election Night, I thought again of the boy who assaulted me. When had I finally stopped blaming myself?
“Have my friends and family been hoping for a new me? Have they all been waiting for a transformation?”
“In the beauty parlor, I watch my ringlets collect like dark, bushy tumbleweeds on the checkered floor.”
Shaving pubic hair. Accepting mother’s advice. Can a woman (or a horse) own her experience of the world?
“I wanted to finally be free from the anxiety of wondering if I would be seen as attractive, or seen at all.”