Bodies

Body Boundaries, Indian Culture, and Healing Enough to Be Mothers to Our Mothers

My relationship with food was a combination of deep love, reverence, and guilt—making it impossible for me to give it up.

Jul 08, 2019
Fat and Fetishized: Understanding the Power and Worth of a Body That Blooms

The secret of the beauty of our bodies is slowly starting to get out, becoming less and less niche each day. And I hope it moves faster.

Jun 06, 2019
What to Expect When You Didn’t Expect a Preemie

After you have a preemie, but before you get to take your baby home, the world keeps going without you. It’s shocking, honestly, how much the world keeps going.

Jun 06, 2019
On Violations, Macarons, and the Pursuit of Beauty I Can Control

It felt as though I had been evicted from my own body, and it had been trashed in my absence. My resentment was as precise as any recipe.

Leaving IVF, and Its Promise and Possibility, Behind

I felt a down spell in my persistent belief in possibility—a sense that something within me once felt unremitting, but had since been stretched to its limit.

May 01, 2019
Less Than 1% of Military Divers are Women—I Was One of Them

Contrary to its reputation as an extreme sport, freediving has meditative aspects.

Apr 12, 2019
A History of Premature Births, Including My Own

Dr. Couney settled in the United States in 1903, when he began exhibiting incubator babies on Coney Island every summer. “Infant Incubators With Living Babies,” the sign above the building read.

Apr 03, 2019
To See or Not to See

I just wanted to believe my eyes were magic, that only I could see things that existed below the surface.

The Weight of Words: Self-Acceptance Doesn’t Have to Be a Solo Journey

I don’t want my self-worth to hinge on a relationship. But vulnerability is a practice, and for me, it has been a valuable one.

Mar 14, 2019
When Someone Loses A Bunch of Weight, Maybe Don’t Lead with “How’d You Do It?”

Weight loss is not a life change that just happens with a snap of one’s fingers. There’s more to it than that, even when people say it’s just about “putting in the work.”

Mar 07, 2019
Why I Don’t Call My Child a Miracle

This is the problem with the vocabulary of miracles when it comes to childbearing: It ends up equating failure of conception or birth with a divine curse.

Feb 28, 2019
As a Disabled Writer, I Know My Stories Are Worth Telling

These worlds I dearly love, with science-fiction that supersedes the science in our reality, deserve Smart Drives and automatic doors and disabled heroes, too.

When You Defer Your Dreams to Take Care of Yourself

Whether it’s postponing motherhood or dreams of the perfect dog, the most painful steps to living the life you want are often the most necessary.

Jan 23, 2019
Writing Motherhood Taught Me About My Emotional and Psychic Inheritance

I felt abandoned and alone. I was told that it was at odds with what mothers should feel, do feel, after childbirth.

Jan 02, 2019
Once I Had Black Hairdressers, I Learned That Black Hair Did Not Equal Pain

These women showed me how to love and care for myself—the only way a Black woman could.

Dec 06, 2018
In the Harsh Climate of Wyoming, I Learned to Listen to My Body

My eating disorder dictated my relationship to food. Then I moved to Wyoming, whose unforgiving landscape reminded me: We eat food to survive.

What Bird Watching Gave Me After My Miscarriage

It was satisfying to see those robins, sparrows, and starlings, because they were still with us. They had stayed.

Sep 19, 2018
I Stopped Dyeing My Gray Hair as an Act of Resistance

Beauty and its pursuit can be art, a delight, a terrific party. But a party you must attend every day isn’t a party at all. It’s an unpaid job.

Sep 06, 2018
Watching Home Movies After My Double Mastectomy

Inside her small body lives every answer to every obstacle. No maps are necessary. She is the map.

Sep 05, 2018
In Pursuit of Fertile Ground: Continuing IVF When the Odds Are Against You

I am at the nether reaches of my fertility, curious as to what I can still grow. This remains a shock.

Jul 31, 2018