Family

Songs and Stories to Keep the Ghosts at Bay

We all have them, those unmet needs or wishes from our own childhood, the painful bits that creep in and affect how we parent.

Oct 29, 2019
You Were Never Home for Long

On Friday, April 22, 2016, three months after my brother’s third release from S. Wilder Youth Development Center, he was rushed to the ER after being shot in the heart.

One Sister Sees X, the Other Sees Y

There are times I envy art’s effectiveness in a bilingual context, its ability to transcend language.

Oct 02, 2019
How I’ve Changed as a Parent in the Wake of My Multiple Sclerosis Diagnosis

On the heels of my diagnosis, I feel there is no way to construct a narrative around what’s happening to me—a deep betrayal for a writer.

Sep 23, 2019
Why We Shouldn’t Call Adoptees “Lucky”

If all adoptees felt not only safe, but empowered in their families and their communities, I would feel better—but not lucky.

Sep 17, 2019
Secret Adoption, Sacrament, and Other Lies That Live in the Body

Will my intestines turn the sacred bread into holy shit, or does the miracle not extend that far into the digestive process?

Aug 26, 2019
I Found the Queer Role-Model I Always Needed in My Long-Lost Cousin

I wish I’d known Molly years ago. I wish I had known her when I was twelve years old, wondering who in my life would still love me if they knew my secret.

Aug 15, 2019
Searching for Connection, Identity, and Community as a Honduran-Born Adoptee

I wanted her language, her understanding of Honduras, a family like hers. I wanted things she could never give me.

Aug 08, 2019
One Mother, Two Mothers, No Mother

Adoption didn’t give me a forever mother. Being in reunion with my birth mother did not make me wholly mothered, either.

Finding My Freedom Within Marriage and Motherhood

Navigating the burdens of expectation as a married woman in Nigeria

Jul 23, 2019
Three Car Crashes and the Long Afterward

The story is no longer me and my vehicles but my mother and hers. We called it an accident, but it wasn’t.

Jul 22, 2019
The Art of Letting Go, As an Artist and a Mother

Like a drawing is and is not mine once I’m finished with it, my son is not mine, not really, because he is himself.

Jun 27, 2019
How It Feels to Watch Your Son Getting His Hair Cut

In the battered barbershop chair, Faris sits slightly camouflaged and crumpled, as though he is a mystery even to himself.

May 23, 2019
At the Twilight of a Dog’s Life, How Do You Know When It’s Time?

Aging is a funny thing. You’re not sure if the world has changed, or if a hundred cellular mutations have changed your place in it.

May 02, 2019
My Hope as a Parent Is Something I Share with My Birth Mother

This folder contained memories I did not have, information about a family I did not know.

Mar 07, 2019
Rattled: The Recklessness of Loving a Dog

I believe that loving a dog is basically mortgaging future heartbreak against a decade or so of camaraderie—I’d understood this when I got Red. But when confronted with it, I felt shamefully angry at myself for even getting him.

Dec 18, 2018
The Greatest Challenge of Raising an Autistic Child as an Autistic Parent? The Ableist World We Live In

Being disabled means hundreds of thousands of people believe they always know better than you do.

Dec 05, 2018
After My Son’s Suicide, I’m Learning to Navigate Emotional Minefields in My Home

Maybe, over time, the ephemera of Jack’s life will become less explosive, like a landmine whose triggering mechanism has eroded, rendering it harmless.

Dec 04, 2018
What I Would See if I Looked in the Mirror of Erised

My heart’s deepest desire was to see my mother again, yes, but also to glimpse a portrait of normalcy that I had never known in the years of her illness.

Nov 28, 2018