Family

Finding My Freedom Within Marriage and Motherhood

Navigating the burdens of expectation as a married woman in Nigeria

Jul 23, 2019
Three Car Crashes and the Long Afterward

The story is no longer me and my vehicles but my mother and hers. We called it an accident, but it wasn’t.

Jul 22, 2019
At the Twilight of a Dog’s Life, How Do You Know When It’s Time?

Aging is a funny thing. You’re not sure if the world has changed, or if a hundred cellular mutations have changed your place in it.

May 02, 2019
My Hope as a Parent Is Something I Share with My Birth Mother

This folder contained memories I did not have, information about a family I did not know.

Mar 07, 2019
Rattled: The Recklessness of Loving a Dog

I believe that loving a dog is basically mortgaging future heartbreak against a decade or so of camaraderie—I’d understood this when I got Red. But when confronted with it, I felt shamefully angry at myself for even getting him.

Dec 18, 2018
The Greatest Challenge of Raising an Autistic Child as an Autistic Parent? The Ableist World We Live In

Being disabled means hundreds of thousands of people believe they always know better than you do.

Dec 05, 2018
After My Son’s Suicide, I’m Learning to Navigate Emotional Minefields in My Home

Maybe, over time, the ephemera of Jack’s life will become less explosive, like a landmine whose triggering mechanism has eroded, rendering it harmless.

Dec 04, 2018
What I Would See if I Looked in the Mirror of Erised

My heart’s deepest desire was to see my mother again, yes, but also to glimpse a portrait of normalcy that I had never known in the years of her illness.

Nov 28, 2018
When You’re a Mom with Anxiety Disorder, You Know the Monsters Are Real

I have such immense anxiety. It sweeps me up into its furious winds. And my kids are at the middle of the storm.

Nov 26, 2018
On Loving a Sibling I’ve Never Met

I wonder a lot about you. Like what your name would have been if you stayed, at least a week or two until your naming ceremony was done.

Sep 21, 2018
The Love of Korean Cooking I Share With My White Mother

In her illness, Korean food was all my Polish-American mom from Jersey wanted to eat. It was all that she could bear.

Sep 19, 2018
Hiking Toward Koreanness: An Adoptee Returns to Her Motherland

Adoption is one of those forks in the road where many of us try to glimpse through the trees to the other path, the other world.

Aug 01, 2018
Korean as a Second Language

I never would have come to Korean if not for my adoption. The language pulled me back to it, despite the decades, cultures, and continents between us.

The World Loses Its Former Shape: Caught in the Undertow of Grief

I whisper to my great-grandmother a burden I’d like lifted, one she might take to the next world with her.

Apr 10, 2018
My Mother Has Terminal Cancer, and I Can’t Seem to Stop Buying Sweaters

I’m stockpiling sweaters because they signify refuge, collecting them like talismans though grief cannot be avoided.

Thirty Years After My Adoption, I Found Out I Wasn’t a US Citizen

“I hated when attention was brought to my adoptee status. I was American, and that was all I wanted to be.”

Oct 23, 2017
Love and Grief at the Edge of the Marsh

“When your husband is dying and your child is on the cusp of forming actual memories, nothing in the world makes sense.”

When an Adoptee Adopts

We wanted our son to know his first mother. Was it the right choice?

Aug 22, 2016
Names

“Can two girls named Mika exist at once? Would one have to be erased?”

Mar 29, 2016