Culture

How a Picasso Painting Helped Me Move Past Numbness After Trauma

I had not been erased by the violence I’d suffered, but was changed by it. A new, difficult layer had been added to my life.

How Wrestling Saved My Life and Let Me Express My Queerness

Wrestling never stops, so I couldn’t stop, and thus I am still here.

Jul 09, 2019
Letting Go of Guilt to Live My Truth as a Queer Woman

As euphoric as my queer epiphany felt, I’d had it as my mother lay sick. It felt like I was reentering the world as my mother was leaving it.

Jul 01, 2019
A Cure to Feeling Like You Need to Be Cured: Talking to Sayaka Murata in Tokyo

I go to Japan, pulled like a magnet, to see what is mine, undiscovered or forgotten; to see what will never be mine; and to find some way to reconcile the two.

Jun 25, 2019
Tailoring My Clothes, Fitting into My Life in America

My idea of home had changed, so I took the symbolic step of finding a new tailor—marking Philadelphia as a place that now fit me right, too.

The Gospel According to Fleabag

The truth was, for me and as for Fleabag, I wasn’t just looking for a good story to tell my friends. I was looking for something so much harder to grasp: a narrative.

Reading My Way Into a Queer Literary Lineage

For queer writers, the discovery of this literary lineage is essential to our very existence, to our very expression of self. We can’t find the words without them.

Jun 20, 2019
Son Boy Allowed: A Trans Mother Finds Space for Boyhood

Well, what does it mean to be a boy or a girl? The answer so often is, simply: I don’t know. And I’m not sure that it actually matters, anyway.

Jun 18, 2019
I Let Go of My Faith When I Came Out—But I Still Believe in Jennifer Knapp

What was I getting out shame, anyway? So I walked away from it all: going to church, reading scripture, prayer, even the Christian music I loved so much.

Jun 17, 2019
These Boots Were Made for Walkin’ Away from Oklahoma

There was nowhere to go back to. Oklahoma was out of the question, always out of the question. But then, where was home?

Jun 13, 2019
Listening to Fall Out Boy on the Brink of Collapse

The release of "Infinity on High" marked the final moments of the mid-2000s, a time when collapse nested on the tongues of everyone in my universe but never made it out of their mouths.

Jun 12, 2019
Cooking Up Pride and Community at the LGBT Center’s Annual Garden Party

There’s nothing more queer than cobbling together something fabulous out of very little.

Jun 11, 2019
What It Means to Be Trans in My Tiny Town

My trans friends rarely come home, and when they do, it is for brief bursts of time. They question why I’ve chosen to keep living here.

Jun 10, 2019
Speculating on Queer Pasts to Achieve a Queer Eternity for My Tío Cano

I want to believe that I inherited too ways of feeling joy, ways of finding pleasure, ways of being with other queers in raucous and wild ways.

Jun 03, 2019
How the Grateful Dead Helped Me Embrace Mortality

Suddenly, miraculously, it was no longer dismay that I felt. It was freedom. It was Death doffing its blackness and revealing itself to me as life.

May 28, 2019
When I Started HRT, I Discovered a Sweeter Side to My Masculinity

I was leaving femininity behind, grateful to have an example like my grandpa to grow toward.

How Ingmar Bergman Films Helped Me Grow Up in America

The self-regard that came with watching Bergman films helped me feel rich in something, for the first time since arriving in America.

The Radio Repairman Who Started a Movement in Cuban Music

He begged his mother to let him buy the guitar. When she refused, reminding him that it was half of the month’s rent, he wept.

There Is No Purer or More Joyful Reality TV Show Than ‘Antiques Roadshow’

The Roadshow is so kind, so simple, and so pure that you begin to wonder, “Could this even be faked?” When I visited the set in San Diego, I discovered—no, it can’t be faked.

Apr 08, 2019
We Barrio Boys and Our Papi Chulo Philosophics

Who are we if not kin through our deviations? Street hustler and femme queen, macho and maricóncito, variations on a chulo aesthetic.

Mar 26, 2019