Where Crystal Hana Kim Writes

Crystal Hana Kim

Apr 22, 2021

Before, this room was full of books, a reading chair, plants. Now we’ve got a crib, a changing table, a glider. I’ve kept my desk, though.

My writing desk is in my baby’s room, hence the lemon and orange stickers on the wall. Baby L was born in the summer of 2020, at the height of the pandemic. His birth and the ongoing pandemic has—as you’d expect—changed everything.

Before, this room was full of books, a reading chair, plants. Now we’ve got a crib, a changing table, a glider. Fruit decals. Burp cloths. Diapers. I’ve kept my desk, though. When I was pregnant, I was scared that becoming a mother would impede my writing. I wanted a physical space of my own (even if it wasn’t a full room) to remind me that I am a writer.

Still, it took me some time to return to this desk after L was born. With both of us Working From Home, my husband and I passed the baby back and forth between Zooms. There were a lot of days when I didn’t write, and that’s all right. (I have to keep reminding my Type-A brain that it truly is all right.) Now, I’m teaching and freelancing and getting back into the rhythm of my novel manuscript. Baby L is in part-time daycare, so during those hours, I’m back at my desk. I like surrounding myself with good-luck items, but I’m less precious about my writing rituals than I was before. In the photo above, I’ve got my novel notes to the left, a laptop stand, a wireless keyboard and mouse. That’s all I really need.

I also have my breast pump parts ready to go. I hate pumping. Most days, I’ll watch something fun as a reward (I’m currently enjoying Season 1 of Jane the Virgin), but when I’m pressed for time, I’ll pump and write. I feel like a machine/superhuman hybrid on those days, the laptop and pump plugged into the same electrical outlet, demanding my attention in two very different ways.

Photograph courtesy of the author

I have one framed print on my desk, which I want to point out for a moment. This is a painting called *While You Are Asleep* by Shin Sun Mi. I bought it in a tiny shop in Korea in 2018, and I just love it. Depending on my mood, she looks serene, frustrated, or just plain tired. She’s a mirror through which I understand my own emotional and creative attitude of the day.

What else is on my desk? I used to go to a pottery studio during pre-pandemic times, so I keep some of my ceramics around to remind me of that fact. There are three crystals in the black ceramic cup, and in the vase, I’ve dried some flowers a friend sent when I was grieving the escalating anti-Asian hate crimes.

Photograph courtesy of the author
Since baby L is only in daycare part-time, that means my writing desk is pretty useless most of the week. I only have time to write when he sleeps, and yet my desk is in his nursery. It makes no sense! I used to lug around all my novel notes, work folders, pens, and bits and bobs every few hours, which was annoying—until a few weeks ago, when I bought myself this bar cart. Now, I push around my cart of materials and feel like I’m on a traveling residency, setting up shop in different spots of the apartment. Right now, I’m writing (while L naps) at the dining table. I’ve got my bar cart beside me. Some tea and water. Some dead tulips I haven’t managed to throw out. I’ve got my notes, my laptop stand, my wireless keyboard and mouse, and that’s all I really need.

Crystal Hana Kim

Apr 22, 2021

Crystal Hana Kim

Crystal Hana Kim is the author of If You Leave Me, which was a Booklist Editor’s Choice title and named a best book of 2018 by over a dozen publications. A 2022 recipient of the National Book Foundation’s 5 Under 35 Award and a 2017 PEN Robert J. Dau Short Story Prize winner, she is also a contributing editor at Apogee Journal.

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