Cover Photo: QE2 by Chris Okum


Den, this is Krik. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to get in touch with Clara. Clara is a very nice woman. Tell Clara I called. Tell her you want to talk to her about Rudy. She loves to talk about Rudy. She'll tell you all about the Europeans and how they make better lovers than the Americans. But listen to me, the woman is depraved. Probably still is even at her age. Ask her about Marcel. She's got loads of stories about Marcel. Now there was a real man, a man's man. Used to be a bullfighter just like Manny. But he couldn't handle Clara. Not Manny. Manny could handle Clara. I'm talking about Marcel. He couldn't handle Clara. She was too much. You see she had this thing about her. I never could figure her out. She would call me in the middle of the night and say Krik this is Clara I need to screw and Bob's not home. I was always her second choice. Which was fine with me. But I think you understand, Den. You know. I know your father would have understood. Your father was a smart man. Your father predicted World War Two. He told me about it in 1930. But I can't really remember that far back. Clara has a great memory, though. Whoa. She remembers everything and everyone. She remembers what they all said about her. She told me she was going to get her revenge on everyone. And she did. Clara got her revenge. She outlived them all. And in style, too. Don't forget that. Clara has style. Clara would call me in the morning and say Krik this is Clara I need to ball and Bob's not home. She was using words like ball way before anyone else. That was her style. She used to say ball all the time. Let's ball, or, let's play ball, bring your biggest bat, or something like that. Get in there and play ball. Or she would say screw it, screw it shut. And put the cap on tight. Close it, close the door. That's how she talked back then. I doubt that's how she would talk today but if you asked her about Manny she might. Give her a call. Say Krik told me to call you and she'll know. Down there, Den. Your father told me about the Nazis. He said Krik I know some people in Washington, and he said, he knew everyone, and he said they told him, this was back in 1930, no 1929, he said they are going to try and take over the world. And I laughed. Because they were seen as fools, you know. Dumb thugs. But they weren't dumb and your father was one of the only ones who understood this. He said these guys are smart. He said what they were going to do and they did it and I didn't believe him. And then when it happened I said to him, I said, how did you know? And you know what he said? He said, lucky guess. Doesn't that sound like your father? That's your father, Den. And your father was in love with Clara, by the way. She broke his heart. Ask her about that. Ask her about your father. Ask her about all the awful things she used to do to him and say to him. Clara and her filthy little mouth. Tell her I say hello. Say Krik says hi.