Cover Photo: Pornographic Magic by Chris Okum

Pornographic Magic

Get this down. Right now. Before I have to get it down myself. Listen to me. All they had to do was ask me. At the very least. Tap me on the shoulder. Say hey, listen. That's fine, I don't mind. Don't disagree with me on this. I could not hear them. I was listening to my tapes. Listen to this. This is a man who walks around Tokyo and screams right in the faces of strangers. It could be you or me or anyone. No one knows. The man is an American expat. Ooh, ooh, ooh. I've always wanted to say that. Sounds so rich and gooey. An American expat. So goo-ay. Where's my cigarette holder? I need my cigarette holder for this. It's right over there. Get it. The man is originally from Indiana. I have no idea what he's saying. Neither do they. They have no idea. All they know is that they are being screamed at. Most of them just stand there and take it or they pretend like they're not taking anything, like nothing is happening, so why are you looking at me. I don't understand. That man is not screaming at us. But why does he have to be so negative? Listen. Listen to me. Listen to what he's saying. No, don't. Listen to how he's saying it. No, don't do that either. Listen to his voice. Forget about the words. The words don't matter. Pretend it's New York and pretend it's 1979 and pretend like the words don't matter. Because it's more about feeling. The word beyond the word. Just say that to yourself over and over. Say it. The word beyond the word, the word beyond the word, the word beyond the word. The more you say it the less it means. And please let me get you another glass of white wine. No, please, really, it's not a problem, don't worry about it. And it's not like he doesn't have a nice voice. He has a very nice voice. Deep and testicular. This is what I want to listen to. This has to be better than what everyone else is listening to, which is nothing, just themselves, yabba, yabba, yabba. There. I got it down for you. Thank you so much for your help. See, I like to help. That's what I'm here for. To help people. And I don't mind helping people as long as they let me listen to my tapes while I'm helping them. I know it looks like I'm somewhere else. But that's only because I am. I'm in Tokyo. But I'm also here. I can be in two places at one time. So can everyone. I'm nothing special. This is basic quantum activity. The Universe is made up of these little tiny things? What are they called? They look like little bolo ties. We're all made out of those. I read about this. In a book? In a book. It was a thick book. I read over nine hundred pages and I only understood one idea. I can be in two places at one time? No. There are two things that look like bolo ties. Bolo ties and the stuff bolo ties are made out of. That's enough.