April Come She Will
the dimming of the world dissipates. brightness flourishes longer. sounds are sweeter.
at 16 i’m at a park in flip flops, embracing the gentle breeze on my face, and the dry pavement nestled underneath my toes. i sit on a swing, clutching its chains, ready to go higher and higher and higher. i tug at my jean jacket on the walk back, pulling the denim close to my chest.
at 18 i’m upstate, lonely at a school, depressed by the scent of freshly-cut grass, by the picnic blankets on the quad, by the bustle on main street, because i have no one to share it with. the sun still shines as i sit alone in the dining hall, picking at the dinner on my plate.
at 21 i’m on a local campus, back flat on the ground, head resting against my books, squinting up at the light, at the shape-shifting clouds until my next class begins. a buzz is in the air. the tulip festival will commence in a week or two. everything is saturated in color.
at 23 i’m at the creek by my house, staring at the slow-moving ducks that surpass the pebbles in the stream, that navigate their way through the ripples. the ripples are always moving in fluid motion.
at 25, i’m in a white dress with black polka dots, lying by the brooklyn bridge by the east river, among the college students, among the hipsters, among the young families. i remove my black leggings since it’s the hottest day in april thus far. people willfully wait for a homemade ice cream cone from the factory on the pier, because they think it’s worth it. i think to myself that maybe it is.
bleakness gives way to vitality. we are starving for it. starving for new life.
Lauren Suval studied print journalism and psychology at Hofstra University, and she is a writer based in New York. Her work has been featured on Psych Central, Thought Catalog, Catapult Community, and other online publications. Lauren's e-book “Coping With Life’s Clutter” and her latest book, “The Art Of Nostalgia,” a collection of personal essays, can both be found on Amazon. She loves to be followed on Twitter @LaurenSuval and on Facebook @LaurenSuvalWriting.