Bring Your Lover to Work Day
We nibble at the sandwiches and make stilted conversation with one another’s better halves. The managers loom in the corner.
This feels like injusticeThe winner has already been decided
In the face of unprecedented climate changewe must make sacrifices for future generations
There is a certain respect that should be afforded the dead
DarlingDarling, of course we respect the dead. We only ask that they respect us in return.
We’re behindI must apologizeYou know how I can get. I have too much passion
You’re doing a good jobYou are a good employee.
It’s fineI have never feared death the way I do now.
I have never truly feared death. It’s . . . It’s inevitable.
It’s not that I haven’t accepted that. But I feel like I will become an object, someone’s property. Does that make sense?
You think too much Are you gonna finish that?
And you? What do you think?
The Governor is fine, but he has flawsI’m unsure. Did you hear that his opponent is getting donations from anti-Company interests?
That means she has sparkAmbition, verve, whatever.
Why fix that which isn’t broken?
You wouldn’t have jobs if it weren’t for himHe was a member of the Company’s executive board. He supports our policies
YouYou, darling. You’re behind. Where are your deliverables? Why can’t you be more like Greg?
He likes to watch
Soon the ad campaign will go into production.
We’ve heard great things about youWonderful things. You are the new Employee of the Hour.
We’d like to show our gratitude. Your lover looks delicious.
I can’t say I disagree
We would like for him to star in the new marketing campaign. He would make a wonderful corpse.
Thank you for letting us use your lover. We believe his talents greatly improved the final product, although we found his manner indelicate.
He should yet remain in his original condition. We will contactyou should the need arise for the rendering of additional services.
You are a good employee.
Immediate Action Required
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The bubbly letters were both a direction and a justification for the lines of people who shelled out $37.50 for a forty-five-minute “experience” at “the sweetest place on earth.”