The Land Without Shoelaces and Sharps: Two Misdiagnoses
For seven years, I lived afraid of my own mind, only to learn it had been a mistake.
At least once you should live with someone
more medicated than yourself . . .
I have never been prescribed an SSRI for bipolar disorder, and I have been prescribed a hell of a lot of drugs. No one I know has been prescribed only an SSRI for bipolar disorder; it can make a person manic.
Law and Order Criminal Minds
Maybe because we don’t recognize him we’ll be safe? Do any of my students recognize him? Why have I never programmed campus security’s number into my phone?
where windows are mesh and what’s sharp
is banished and what can be thrown
is attached so unless you can lift
the whole building everyone is safe.
If I leave him, can I move in with you?Yes,
playing pet Tetris,
Depakote used “stun!” It’s super-effective!
. . . sealed in amber, a caul
of drugs meant to withstand ants and fire [.]
What if everyone was wrong? The doctors, my family, my friends, me?
. . . because he’d not taken
the microwave apart and strapped its heart
to his head or talked to the 60-watt bulb
on the porch he thought he was better
and flushed his pills . . .
Journal of Clinical Psychiatry
in a society where the concept of the norm is operative, those who deviate from its expectations may be (mis)diagnosed as sick.
This is too much.
. . . I learned you can sit
with someone who’s on the bottom
of the ocean and not get wet
Alysia Sawchyn currently lives in Tampa, Florida, where she is a nonfiction editor for Sweet: A Literary Confection. Her writing has appeared or is forthcoming in Fourth Genre, Indiana Review, Prairie Schooner, and elsewhere. She is working on her first book, a collection of essays themed around misdiagnosed mental illness. You can find her on Twitter @happiestwerther.
More in this series
Sometimes I’m convinced no other person will ever know my fragile heart the way I do.
“Even in that happy space, doubt, disbelief, and a gnawing sadness started to swirl, rise, and create confusion.”