Cover Photo: photo courtesy of the author
photo courtesy of the author

Eulogy for a Home: Tehran Revisited

Do my loved ones buried in Iran, my generational roots in the land, allow the country to continue to feel like home?

mamanimamani

Mamani

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mamanimamaniI caressed her hand, constantly nudging myself not to cry.

I wanted to tell her it was I who should thank her—for waiting for me, for still being here, for having been here all those years. But I could not say a word. I just held her hand until the tears forced me to walk away before she could notice me crying.

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mamani

mamani

Mamani

I was so afraid of not having her in my life, even though my share of her for the past several years had been reduced to nothing but a few visits during my trips to Tehran; hearing her voice now and then on the phone throughout the year. In one of the last messages she left on Telegram, which her daughter had helped record and send a few months earlier, she had said she would pray for me forever. I saved the message, returning to it over and over again whenever I missed her.

We will forever need your love, and we do not know how to be without you.

Mamanimamani

mamani

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Behesht-e Zahramamani

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Poupeh Missaghi is a writer, a translator both into and out of Persian, an editor, and an educator. She holds a PhD in English and creative writing from the University of Denver, an MA in creative writing from Johns Hopkins University, and an MA in translation studies. Her debut novel trans(re)lating house one was published by Coffee House Press. I’ll Be Strong for You, her translation of Nasim Marashi’s novel, is forthcoming in spring 2021. She co-edits Matters of Feminist Practice from Belladonna* Collaborative and teaches at Pratt, Pacific Northwest College of Art, and at Baruch College.