Trying to Conceive Feels a Little Bit Less Awful Than Not Trying
It isn’t my job to bear as much pain as I possibly can to prove that I am somehow worthy of becoming a mother. Why is it so hard to remember this?
maybe like that
By the way, how are you feeling?
It’s the clinic’s job to manage my pain, to make me feel cared for. Isn’t it? Why is it so hard to remember this?
Mandy Len Catron is the author of How to Fall in Love with Anyone: A Memoir in Essays. You can find her work in the New York Times, the Atlantic, the Guardian, and the Rumpus, among many others. Originally from rural Appalachia, she now teaches creative writing at the University of British Columbia.
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On Election Night, I thought again of the boy who assaulted me. When had I finally stopped blaming myself?