Cover Photo: A photograph of the author with her partner and their dog
Photograph courtesy of the author

Trying to Conceive Feels a Little Bit Less Awful Than Not Trying

It isn’t my job to bear as much pain as I possibly can to prove that I am somehow worthy of becoming a mother. Why is it so hard to remember this?

maybe like that

By the way, how are you feeling?

It’s the clinic’s job to manage my pain, to make me feel cared for. Isn’t it? Why is it so hard to remember this?


Mandy Len Catron is the author of How to Fall in Love with Anyone: A Memoir in Essays. You can find her work in the New York Times, the Atlantic, the Guardian, and the Rumpus, among many others. Originally from rural Appalachia, she now teaches creative writing at the University of British Columbia.