Muscle Memory
I don’t recognize the future version of me the doctor describes. To remain myself, I must prove him wrong.
You miss it, don’t you?It stays in your blood. It never leaves
You cheatedYou haven’t walked away from anything.
How long should I expect this to last
I’d give it another three days. You silly thingI’m not going anywhere.
CongratulationsBe proud of this
You will scare people with these knots
I could do thatI used to do that.
It’s not dangerousit’s just chronic pain.
It will do more harm than goodYou silly thing
I quit.
Kayla Smith grew up in the swamps of Mississippi but spent most of the past decade living in Rhode Island, New York, Tennessee, and Washington D.C. She is a graduate of Brown University and Columbia University and currently lives in New Orleans where she works at Tulane University. Follow her on Instagram at @kaylamichellesmith.
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More in this series
Medical Care Needs More Space for Patient Narratives
I want medicine to meet me where I am, not where it wants me to be.