Cover Photo: Still from the music video ‘Your Best American Girl’ music video/Dead Oceans
Still from the music video ‘Your Best American Girl’ music video/Dead Oceans

Breaking Up with Your Best American Girl

Since voicing my intention to transition, I’ve been revisiting my favorite love-as-a-woman songs and reorienting myself within them.

This is Formation Jukebox, a column by Lio Min on being in transition and the music that helps them make sense of it all.

girl.

I guess I couldn’t help trying to be the best American girl

I think of those girl friends now, almost all of whom live on in my life as strangers, and feel a deep shame. We were so buoyant with affection and tenderness; we were so gifted at twisting small blades in each other’s backs under the petty spell of teenage courtship. I have no trouble meeting up with former guy friends, but I have a much tougher time talking to the girls, who are now women.

everything

Don’t wait for me / I can’t comeYour mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me / But I do, I think I do / And you’re an all-American boy / I guess I couldn’t help trying to be your best American girl

You’re the one / You’re all I ever wanted / I think I’ll regret this.

Lio Min is a writer based in California. Their work can be found here. They've written one novel and hope to write more.