Cover Photo: Tallulah Pomeroy
Tallulah Pomeroy

A Test of Self-Love: Competing for Mr. Rockbear 2017

“I wanted to finally be free from the anxiety of wondering if I would be seen as attractive, or seen at all.”

I had to remind myself, “You are doing this for you. You are doing this for you. You are doing this for you,” even though the question of whether I’d look good, if people would think that I looked good, continued to lurk.

Answer the question, Look at the judges, make your choice, vocalize your choice, get off the stage before they kick you off

I am getting there, though, on my own.

Matthew Mastricova is a fiction reader for Third Point Press. His essays have appeared in Cosmonauts Avenue, Electric Literature, and elsewhere.