A Test of Self-Love: Competing for Mr. Rockbear 2017
“I wanted to finally be free from the anxiety of wondering if I would be seen as attractive, or seen at all.”
I had to remind myself, “You are doing this for you. You are doing this for you. You are doing this for you,” even though the question of whether I’d look good, if people would think that I looked good, continued to lurk.
Answer the question, Look at the judges, make your choice, vocalize your choice, get off the stage before they kick you off
I am getting there, though, on my own.
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I do not believe in a soul but these past six months of illness, I am guilty of dislocating, of clinging to magic. Of wanting relief. Of being sick of being sick.