Grief

Three Generations of Elizabeths, Breast Cancer, and Self-Preservation

When your maternal grandmother dies from breast cancer, there’s this strange intersection between her health and your mother’s health and yours.

Oct 05, 2020
To Grieve, We Began a Book Club for Two

Our first book club discussion was a learning experience.

Aug 31, 2020
As Mourning Rituals Change, What Comes Next?

When my grandmother died, she didn't want a funeral. She did have thoughts about what we should do with her ashes.

Jul 06, 2020
Dying in America, or How to Become Completely Invisible

There is no guidebook or set of rules for us to follow; there is no concrete “American” etiquette around death.

I Want My Mommy and I’m Glad She’s Not Alive for Covid-19

I wish I could talk to my mom about the irony that, forty years later, shelves are being ransacked and we are standing in lines to buy bread.

Apr 23, 2020
All That Is Lost and All That Is Remembered

Naz Riahi reflects on how the violent death of her father when she was a young girl impacted the rest of her life

Apr 01, 2020
All That I Can’t Carry

The life of my Lolo and my family in the Philippines is a deep reminder that people live full lives there and places like it, across the globe.

Mar 30, 2020
My Father Lives in Me: On the Lion King, Grief, and Resemblance

“My father, was alive, in me—in my reflection, in my voice, in my posture.”

Dec 04, 2019
You Were Never Home for Long

On Friday, April 22, 2016, three months after my brother’s third release from S. Wilder Youth Development Center, he was rushed to the ER after being shot in the heart.

After My Son’s Suicide, I’m Learning to Navigate Emotional Minefields in My Home

Maybe, over time, the ephemera of Jack’s life will become less explosive, like a landmine whose triggering mechanism has eroded, rendering it harmless.

Dec 04, 2018
What I Would See if I Looked in the Mirror of Erised

My heart’s deepest desire was to see my mother again, yes, but also to glimpse a portrait of normalcy that I had never known in the years of her illness.

Nov 28, 2018
On Loving a Sibling I’ve Never Met

I wonder a lot about you. Like what your name would have been if you stayed, at least a week or two until your naming ceremony was done.

Sep 21, 2018
The World Loses Its Former Shape: Caught in the Undertow of Grief

I whisper to my great-grandmother a burden I’d like lifted, one she might take to the next world with her.

Apr 10, 2018
My Mother Has Terminal Cancer, and I Can’t Seem to Stop Buying Sweaters

I’m stockpiling sweaters because they signify refuge, collecting them like talismans though grief cannot be avoided.

Love and Grief at the Edge of the Marsh

“When your husband is dying and your child is on the cusp of forming actual memories, nothing in the world makes sense.”