Voice Out the Unvoiceable

This is a true story recounted by Aida , 25, a graduate, trying hard to make  ends meet ,also having her share of this worlds worries an as if that is not enough she had a cruel experience ,tortured psychologically and physically

How to voice out such a horrible dirty experience was the expression on Aida’s face, no matter how hard she tried to hide her feelings, her coldness sold her out.

Me:  Aida what’s wrong with you?

Aida: oh, nothing I am ok.

Me: hmmmm , so what’s that wound on your left hand?

Aida: I was harassed?

Me: How? What? How? Explain, what happened?

Aida: Hmmmm ,its this guy ,I have known for like 3 years now, for all this while he has been so innocuous in our dealings, but recently ,he started exposing his feelings for me and all that stuff of how he wants a second woman in his life and all.

Me: So, you mean he is married?

Aida: Well, yes he has a son and wife which I know, so I didn’t take him all to serious, but the pressure he was giving me was putting me off, I tried to deal with the issue diplomatically but I couldn’t take the pressure anymore so I sent him a message telling him that I couldn’t do whatever he is asking me to do, so I am deciding to keep my distant. 3 days later he came knocking at my gate at around 8pm, telling me how he was sorry for his behavior and all, and I just nodded. He left, the following week he calls me and demands to see me urgently, I fussed about not having time, then on that fateful Thursday I decided to get him off my back, I was preparing to go to town and run some errands, so I passed by his house and told him I had just an hour to spare.

(Heavy sighs)

“so are you still holding on to your decision as mentioned in the message” he asked, “yes, if  things don’t change in your mind” I said. We sat in total silence. Minutes later he asked to come closer to him, I  refused, like a joke, he grasped me from the waist and right into his bedroom ,powerless I could only scream and scream, I could feel his hands all over my body, he started removing my top  and the wrapper around my waist. I was furious, but not fast enough, in my head I was thinking that this couldn’t be happening to me, I turned and twisted avoiding his touch but to no avail, I shouted STOP! STOP! He replied “am not stopping”.

I raised my hand and slapped him twice ,he became more furious and said” I am not stopping ,if you have strength so do what you want ,but today am going to have sex with you” I was shocked ,alarmed even more terrified. I started crying, he said “your cries won’t change anything, I will do what I feel like doing now whether you agree or not, for that matter you had better co-operate with me for all to end well ,if you do not co-operate things will end very badly”. “if you become pregnant I will assume responsibility, but if you don’t co-operate it will end badly and I will not claim responsibility for anything, if you try to abort you will die because in my family abortion doesn’t work” this and much more unreasonable things he said, I just laid there praying to God to save me, because he was out of common sense and my reactions will worsen things, I was just begging him to have mercy on me, but to no avail. Not knowing what else to do whilst he was kissing my body, I started speaking in tongues and he said ‘OK, when you are done speaking in tongues tell me so that I continue”, I started begging him again to let me go, that I cant do this because am afraid, and also because am still a virgin, he responded by “don’t worry just co-operate and it will end well”.

I asked him to let me go naked or he should kill me, but as for this I cant .he became angrier, he took a cutlass lying next to his bed and said “the only way I wont do it is if you kill me ,or the other way round” I replied “please kill me, I prefer dying than enduring this” he raised the cutlass to my throat for like 5 seconds and dropped it, I was ready for it trust me because I felt that some spirit had come over him, so I kept a cool attitude.  I tried escaping from the sitting room ,he locked it up, I tried the backdoor, he caught up and locked it ,this continued for an hour , then I told him I wanted to urinate, whilst there In the bathroom, i was busy thinking of what to tell him so that he would let me go. I started begging him to let me go again because I had to meet my dad somewhere and that by now he would be worried, he didn’t resign for about 20 minutes, and then he said “dress up now before I change my mind”. Trembling I dressed up, and sat down. That is how I got cut in the hand while struggling for the door.

Me: oh my goodness, he is a threat to society and how are you feeling now?

Aida:  hmmm I only thank God for saving me from  wickedness, it is still like a nightmare, with this I feel for those women who once have been aggressed, or raped, it is a terrible feeling, even though he sent me a message to ask for forgiveness, I mean how could I ever explain this to someone? What I have learnt is that not every well dressed, clean-shaved man out there is psychologically healthy. responsibility oriented or even have their common sense working according to the sense meter. I just thank God again, because if he had had his way, it would have changed the course of my life. It shook me to the bones that I felt sick the following week. But am still standing and fighting!!!!!

Aida confided in my pen and bytes to encourage all women out there in Africa, Asia, and in the world, who suffer physically or psychologically just because of their gender.

In an article published by Radio France International ( RFI), over 700 millions of women are married before 18 years, due to poverty. Southern Asia, Sub-saharian Africa. In Mali, bride price is even paid before the birth of the child.

In Bangladesh, the girl is married to avoid rape; but they are not protected as such, because they are not protected enough to assume the responsibility of a house mistress and wife, she cant decide to have sex, she will be forced and abused by her husband. She is exposed to all violence, sexual, physical and psychological.

They get pregnant quickly without being ready. A girl that gives birth before 15 years is five times at risk of dying while giving birth, than after 20 years.

Such barbarian act must be discouraged in our society, morals have deserted our homes and streets, where you see our brothers and fathers abusing without shame our ladies, they tap their butts, Fundle their breasts ,all because they are incapable of controlling the nature of being “sexually starved”.

Don’t stop fighting for your Right, for your Dignity, for your Body, for your Freedom, and for your Choice.

©Grace Ouendo-2015