The Skinny, in Numbers
This essay was written by Courtney Kocak in Chloe Caldwell's 12-Month Essay Collection Generator
Girl Gone Wild
“The Skinny, in Numbers,” is excerpted from that collection.
“This is the healthiest I’ve ever been,” I say.
Who reported it? Was there guessing involved? If not, was it naked at-home post toilet or like a doctor’s office situation? that
The Karen Carpenter Story
So that’s how you do it,
“A-students are boring. B-students are cooler, more fun, and have better priorities in life,” insists my thinnest, blondest, most perfectionist grad school professor. I try not to roll my eyes in front of her. We both know she weighs herself twice a day, and so do I. She gives me a B. Wow, what a cool bitch! I’m tempted to go over to her house and break her scale.
“beezer”—my new drink of choice. I've always gravitated towards uppers. I like my heart to be working out even when I'm sitting still. When I was single, I had an amazing night of sex with someone new. He opened my fridge the next morning and couldn't believe his eyes. “Oh wow, this is crazy.” He took a picture of the contents, which were three half-empty DMD bottles, and sent it to his friend. Then the tall, handsome bread-maker looked me dead in the eyes and said, “I don't think I could date someone who doesn't keep food in their fridge.”
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