Cover Photo: The Legend of Saint Lugo by Robert McEvily

The Legend of Saint Lugo

Once upon a time, there was a faraway land where half the people had great hair and the other half were completely bald. Even the women. The two sides hated each other and fought constantly. They burned each other's houses to the ground and kidnapped and tortured each other. The situation was really, really bad. Then one day, a guy named Lugo arrived. Lugo had unexceptional hair – fuller on the sides, thinning on top, a weird color halfway between brown and gray. Neither side wanted to claim him as their own. No one knew what to make of him. So both sides joined forces and beat him to death with stale baguettes.

Whack, whack, whack! 

From that day forward, the land's been reigned by a blissful peace.

Gen X spokesperson talking to himself on Twitter.