The Legend of Saint Lugo
Once upon a time, there was a faraway land where half the people had
great hair and the other half were completely bald. Even the women.
The two sides hated each other and fought constantly. They burned each
other's houses to the ground and kidnapped and tortured each other. The
situation was really, really bad. Then one day, a guy named Lugo
arrived. Lugo had unexceptional hair – fuller on the sides,
thinning on top, a weird color halfway between brown and gray. Neither
side wanted to claim him as their own. No one knew what to make of
him. So both sides joined forces and beat him to death with stale
Whack, whack, whack!
From that day forward, the land's been reigned by a blissful peace.