"Parallel Lives" and "To Look Back? To Not Look Back?"
it’ so surreal you’re next to me
here and now, in my past;
run-of-the-mill convenient stores covered in lotto ads
ethnic clusters amidst the weekend hustle
blocks of brick, yards that are narrow
orthodox synagogues en route to knapp street
old haunts, preserved haunts
forever etched in memory
and where were you?
it’s so surreal to ponder your existence
that wasn’t known, that wasn’t intertwined with mine
i want to know these things
i want to feel like i knew you;
even when our lives ran parallel
To Look Back? To Not Look Back?
i do not want to know
dismiss the thought;
but do not mistake my good riddance for apathy
for it is anything but
nostalgia’s bitter embers hurt my eyes;
the flame is too hot, still
surely missing what’s surely gone
and yet, maybe i do want to know
i want to crawl inside my memory box
breathe it all in;
as if i was young again
transcend what is
but as you age,
perhaps it’s best not to know
do not look back;
because once you do,
you will begin to wonder:
what is left?
Lauren Suval studied print journalism and psychology at Hofstra University, and she is a writer based in New York. Her work has been featured on Psych Central, Thought Catalog, Catapult Community, and other online publications. Lauren's e-book “Coping With Life’s Clutter” and her latest book, “The Art Of Nostalgia,” a collection of personal essays, can both be found on Amazon. She loves to be followed on Twitter @LaurenSuval and on Facebook @LaurenSuvalWriting.