Journey Beyond Time
The veil is thin, I am transcending so much.
It is time for me to enter a new journey, a migration of sorts. I am here, still, Emily, not much has changed on the surface, but there are deep deep movements happening in my subconscious, in my dreams, and emotionally. Recently my grief came to the surface. I have been suffering from a flu for twelve days, and am much improved at this point. Life stopped for several days. I lost track of time, was in and out of feverish sleep, and just trying to bear moment after moment. The moments seemed to stretch for eternity. And during this shamanic illness I discovered many things. I am still working on identity, on making my own choices and having loving compassion for myself and my illness.
My illness, transcends beyond the flu. I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder with psychosis, and this flu oppressed me with not only a suppressed and stressed immune system, but the stress blew me open psychologically and emotionally. It is also Samhain, the eve of the new year, the new moon, and the twice annual thinning of the veil. Being in and out of fever, health, and deeply processing emotions accompanied by a thinning veil has been illuminating. I am now migrating, journeying on a new path. I have decided to take some time off of work and return to my sensitive roots. For the first time in a while I am seeing my mental illness as a gift, a journey I have embarked on for the better part of a decade.
Today, as I watch the wind blow fiercely and the rain fall generously on my little island home, I find myself grateful for this new journey. I can write, read tarot, and have deep talks with my husband who is also recovering at this point in time. We just nurtured our beings with chicken soup, homemade by my gifted chef husband. Enya is playing and the dogs are curled up on the sofa and bed. And I am able to slow down and migrate to this rhythm and blend with the weather. The veil is thin, I am transcending so much. I am welcoming a new identity of compassion and love. I am accepting time and the organic way in which it moves through our lives. I am dreaming of knowing myself in new and accepting ways. This is a beginnings and it is illuminate.