Jack's Back

When Jane saw the Cadillac smashed up against the street lamp, she knew it could only mean one thing.

“Jack's back!”

When George heard the clipping of cowboy boots around the corner, he knew it could only mean one thing.

“Jack's back!”

***

The thirty to fifty year old kids all danced at their house party that night. They were celebrating New Years Eve. They were on drugs and they pretended to be happy. The sound system stopped and the lights turned on. The thirty to fifty year old kids all looked up, baffled, to fix their eyes on him. He stood there in his cowboy boots, tight jeans, leather jacket and shades. Holding up the plug of the sound system in his rugged hand. His hair slicked back.

“Jack's back bitches!” said Jack.

Before anyone could respond, Jack kicked the sound system to the floor.

“I got an announcement to make!”

Jack clipped over the broken sound system.

“I got some unfinished business round here!”

Mouths gaped open in shock. Is he's back? He can't be? Can he? Is Jack actually back?

Jack chewed on a cocktail stick.

“I got a score to settle at City Hall! Is any one of you punks going to get in my way this time?”

No one said a word.

“What about you?” said Jack, pointing at Phil Marsden.

“No. No. No sir. I mean. I don't-”

“Don't what?”

“I'm not going to stand against you this time sir.”

“This time?” Jack squared up to Phil. “So you're saying you stood against me last time?”

“No. No. No sir I-”

A second later, Phil was unconscious on the floor.

“You ingrates better call the police,” said Jack. “By the time I'm done here there's gonna be some serious bodily harm on all your faces. I'll give you all three seconds to get your phones out. ONE! TWO! THREE!”

***

It was not going to be a normal day at work for Bertie Borngate. Not just another day of selling house insurance. Bertie had heard about the party. He'd heard that Jack was back. He knew that Jack would be coming to see him.

The door opened and there was Jack: cowboy boots, sunglasses, slick hair and cocktail stick in his mouth. He hadn't aged a day.

“Nice to see you Jack,” said Bertie.

“Nice to see you too old pal,” said Jack.

“Hey, do you want a coffee or something?”

“Can't stay long buddy, I got business to settle at City Hall.”

Jack smiled and surveyed the insurance shop.

“Got yourself a steady, little job here.”

“Thanks Jack, it's my own business.”

“Come with me buddy, lets go take down City Hall.”

“I can't Jack, my wife-”

“Come on buddy! It'll be like the old days! Me and you! Butch and Cassidy! Burke and Caffrey! Batman and Robin!”

“I'm sorry Jack.”

Jack spat on the floor and snarled.

“Well that's loyalty for you.”

Jack clipped aggressively out through the door.

Bertie picked up the phone and called his wife.

“Jack's back, he wants me to help him take down City Hall.”

***

At City Hall, in his office, Mayor Lester Green slunk back in his leather chair and looked through an ancient grimoire.

“I'm the Mayor! Since getting rid of Jack, I can do whatever I like!”

His secretary burst through the door.

“Mayor Green!”

“Call me Lester baby.”

“Jack's back Mayor Green!”

Mayor Lester Green got to his feet and fluttered in panic.

“How?!”

“He's downstairs! He's beating up security! Then he says he's coming up here to beat up you!”

***

The meanest of the security men had Jack in a headlock.

"You're finished Jack!" said the security man.

A sledgehammer clunked on the security man's head. He fell to the floor with a fractured skull and released Jack.

Jack looked up, Bertie stood there with a sledgehammer in his hands.

“You know what they say Jack,” said Bertie. “The bigger they are, the harder they fall.”

Jack smiled.

"I couldn't do this without you buddy," said Jack.

"Let's beat up the Mayor!"

***

"When I told my wife you were back," said Bertie. "She told me I should do what I thought was right."

"Women," smiled Jack. "You gotta love them."

Jack and the secretary passionately kissed whilst the Mayor screamed under Jack's boot.

"Happy New Year baby," said Jack, with lipstick smeared down his chin.

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