Cover Photo: How To Say Hello Now by Linda Chavers

How To Say Hello Now

See Jane. See Dick. See Jane Put Her Hands Up.

Please don’t shoot. My name is Linda, what is your name? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I am from Washington, DC, where are you from? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I am 33 years old, how old are you? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I have a puppy, do you like animals? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I love Canadian indie music, what do you like to listen to? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I used to smoke cigarettes, do you have any vices? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I love to read novels, what do you like to do? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I like to curl up at home a lot, do you go out or are you more of a homebody? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I’m a black American, do you have an ethnic identity? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I don’t think my neighbors want me around especially the ones who don’t look like me, do you ever feel lonely? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, my mother and I are very close, are you close with your parents? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, my dad is from Philadelphia, are you from here, too? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, sometimes I’m scared when I meet new people, are you scared, too? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I have a few social media accounts but I’m not that social, what about you? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I used to go to the movies a lot but you never know these days, do you still go to the movies? Please don’t shoot, my name is Linda, I’m a writer and I teach for a living, what do you do in order to live?

Hello, my name is Linda, please don’t shoot.

Essays. Memoir. Musings. Pajamas.