What comes to your mind when you think of unbreakable relationships? An elderly couple sitting together on the porch, having weathered all the storms of life? A partner that you can turn to no matter what is happening in your life? Or maybe an unbreakable relationship sounds impossible, like something out of a fairy tale. Maybe relationships like that don’t happen in the real world.
So, is a solid, unshakable relationship a realistic expectation? The answer is a definite yes – with one caveat. You both have to be 100% committed to your relationship and should be willing to work together to make it as unbreakable as a rock.
Do you and your partner want to build a relationship that can stand the test of time? Read on to discover the secret to unbreakable relationships!
It All Comes Down To Three Things
The secret to building an unbreakable relationship really comes down to three vital things: Communication, Commitment, and Respect. Let’s take a look at each one in turn.
It’s All About Communication
Communication is the foundation for everything in your relationship. When you have good communication, you can handle anything life throws your way.
What does good communication really entail?
It starts with learning how to really listen to one another. It’s so easy to jump in with your own opinions, but you must try to resist. Healthy communication means each of you feels heard and validated.
When your partner talks, listen. Really listen. Don’t try to jump in with your own opinions, or argue with them. Give them the space to express their feelings openly – and ask them to do the same for you. Validate what they say – it might not make sense or even matter to you, but it’s important to them.
When you’re the one doing the talking, think carefully about what you choose to say. Resist the temptation to slip into accusations - “you did this, you made me feel this way.” Instead, focus on what you feel and what you need. Are you inclined to listen to someone who is berating you? Nor is your partner. Instead, talk openly and honestly about your current feelings, and encourage your partner to do the same.
Leave the past in the past. Strong, healthy relationships are built on working together to solve problems in the here and now. Dragging up the past only causes hurt and resentment. Don’t let things fester. Deal with them together, and move on.
No matter how hard life is or how upset you are, make open and respectful communication a non negotiable part of your relationship.
Make A Commitment – And Keep Making It
Unbreakable relationships are built on deep and enduring commitment that doesn’t waver, no matter what storms life sends your way. Your relationship is like anything else in your life – it needs your time and attention to grow and thrive.
Make an agreement with your partner that you will always be committed to each other, even in the midst of raising children and building careers. A commitment like that isn’t something you make once. It’s something you choose to make over and over, every day.
What does continual commitment look like? It means making each other a priority in life. That includes:
Staying faithful to one another
Learning healthy communication skills together
Paying attention to each other’s needs, dreams, and worries
Supporting one another when times get tough
Being willing to compromise and work out solutions together
Commitment also means giving time to your relationship. It’s so easy to get caught up in work challenges, social commitments, and the effort of looking after children together. That’s why making time for your relationship matters.
That means making time together just for the two of you, every single day. Even if it’s just 20 minutes over morning coffee or after dinner in the evening (switch the TV off and really talk). Have a regular date night. Take trips together or go on a weekend break. Always make your relationship a priority, not an afterthought.
Be Respectful And Watch Your Relationship Grow
Respect is an important cornerstone of any healthy relationship. When you show respect for each other, you grow together in trust and learn to lean on one another.
There are many ways to show respect to each other. Some important ones include:
Listening to your partner and validating their feelings
Supporting their choices
Showing that you hear and notice their needs and likes
Noticing and commenting on their positive qualities
Acknowledging what they bring to your relationship and household
Being free and open with apologies when needed
Respecting their confidentiality and keeping your relationship private
Valuing their skills and way of doing things – even if it’s quite different from yours
Learning to show respect and care towards each other supports you both in feeling valued, wanted and acknowledged. Positivity and openness are much more conducive to a healthy long term relationship than sniping and contempt.
Make a decision today to focus on communication, commitment and respect, and you’ll be on your way to building an unbreakable relationship.