Cover Photo: This photograph is blurred, as if the camera moved when it was taking the shot. It's the end of a sunset, and the sky is blue with orange light around the horizon. In the foreground there is a dark cabin with a green light at the top of the roof.
Photograph courtesy of the author

Before You Go, I Want to Love You

This poem was written by Julian Guy in a 12-Month Poetry Collection Generator taught by Angel Nafis.

son. No divorce. Children who love you. Money enough for a house in the mountains and no neighbors except big bucks shedding their treasured antlers on your doorstep. Someone to love you the way you have always needed to be loved. In time and bites of food. Someone who fixes the bed with no creases, who could dig up rust and rocks, no fear of bears, or cancers, or what they have done to their children. A warm sky and never-snow. Relationships with your sisters. A gallery that asks for more paintings. Good teeth. Friends who let you cry with them, borrow money, sleep on the couch and never leave. For you to see your parents again. The ocean again. The house you grew up in again. That these things could be yours, untouched by hurricanes and economies, botched surgeries, God’s unrelenting hand. That you could be un-responsible for all of it. That it could come to you easy as heaven.

Julian Guy is a queer and genderqueer writer born in Reno, Nevada. Their work has been published or is forthcoming in the lickety~split, the Deerfield Public Library's Queer Poem-a-Day series, The Adroit Journal, and Lesbians Are Miracles. Julian splits their time between their hometown of Reno, NV and their home in Brooklyn, NY. They can be found on Twitter @lizard_blitz